Empath Lit / My Poem

Hey guys, I just wanted to send you over to Empath Lit where they recently published a poem of mine.

Empath Lit was started by Alexandra Naughton and Dianna Dragonetti, 

"two survivors who wanted to curate a project by and for people who have been victimized, abused, silenced. Seeking poetry, prose, essay/memoir/accounts of experiences, and more formal/journalistic criticism/reviews. Reclaim your narrative. We want to support you."

Amazing, right?

This is an incredible project and I am grateful to be a part of it.  My work, "Father's Day Poem" does carry a trigger warning (re: sexual and child abuse) but I think it's important, now more than ever, to stop being ashamed of my story and to let people know that I am a survivor.  Terrible things happened to me but my life is not terrible.  I made it through the other end.  I was a victim, yes, but most importantly, I am a survivor.  

For any of you who are dealing with abuse and need someone to talk to, I am here.  Please reach out via my contact page or DM me via Twitter @aziadupont.

In the words of Empath Lit, reclaim your narrative.

Why I'm Not That Excited About Beyonce's FEMINIST Performance

The Internet basically exploded Sunday night, when "Queen" Beyonce stood proudly in front of the word FEMINIST during her performance at the MTV Video Awards.  I didn't catch the original performance because I spent 5 minutes watching them and I thought my brain was going to melt was watching The Leftovers.  But, after seeing all the hoopla, I decided to check out the performance.

Beyonce is talented.  I'll give her that.  I'm not denying that she does not have star power.  As a mother, I also loved seeing the tribute to her daughter.  I understand that love, it's beautiful.  

Also, as a mother, I kept thinking "She's really letting her daughter watch this?"

It was so sexual you guys, I hated it.

There was a point where she was acting out sex on a chair, it was ridiculous.

(I know, I'm not supposed to hate on Beyonce- I'm sure I'll be shunned by many for this post.)

But, I can't keep my bewilderment under wraps.

Yes- thank you, Beyonce for proving that FEMINISTS CAN BE HOTT TOO! (Note: Limbaugh on Feminism: "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society." (uh, okay?????)  But, I'm not really impressed about it.

And, yes, big thanks for bringing feminism and the discussion of what feminism is to the populace- that's great.  Especially since it's been 94 years since women were granted suffrage in the United States.

Thank you for sampling Nigerian novelist, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie in your song, "Flawless."  That's really, really, great.  This is the quote:
 "We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, ‘You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you will threaten the man.’ Feminist: The person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes." 

Yes.  That's exactly what feminists are: people who believe in the social, political & economic equality of the sexes, yes!

But just because we have the power to be sexual beings does not mean that we should proudly become sex objects and find it somehow acceptable because we are doing it in the name of feminism.

Oh, I know what's you are thinking: Azia!  You hypocrite!  You preach about not slut-shaming & now you are totally slut-shaming Beyonce.

I am not.  Really, I'm not.  I just don't feel like celebrating this sexual "liberation."  Beyonce may be a lion, roaring with all her might, choosing to own her sexual identity- good on her.  But just because she chooses to be an object, does not mean that objectifying women (sexual objects you guys, come on!) is suddenly okay.  

I fear the repercussions on the impressionable American (male&female) youth.  Our society is already so hyper-sexualized.  Where is the gray area?  It seems our society has one side that's shouting NO SEX ED, NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE, LET'S IGNORE SEX & the other side that thinks twerking, self-"chosen" nudity, swinging around on a wrecking ball naked & licking hammers is somehow LIBERATION.  Is there anyone else hanging out in the middle ground?  Am I the only one?  

I embrace sexual relationships, we were designed to enjoy sex.  (I have 3 children, clearly I'm not opposed to sex.)  And I will go as far as to say that I think we are doing our children a serious disservice by not providing them with a comprehensive sexual education (note: Christians- we can't hide from the world our children live in.  We can instill values of abstinence, but we need them to be aware of sex in today's society.  It's like sending them out into a battlefield unarmed.  We must arm our children.)- but I also do not agree that sexual liberation makes sexual provocativeness okay.  I do not worship sex in the way our culture seems to, apparently.

And I don't want my daughters and son to think that this behavior is okay.

I don't want my children objectifying women.

So, thanks Beyonce, for bringing this all to light.  And, I think you have the star-power to get a lot more people talking about the equality of sexes in this country.  Really, I appreciate this.

But I can't pretend that I appreciate the way you've chosen to deliver your message.  I can't pretend that I like the type of feminism you are showcasing.  I can't pretend that objectifying women, even self-chosen objectification, is somehow not objectification.

So thanks, but also, I'm not that excited about it.

You can watch the performance here:

Get More:
2014 VMA, Artists.MTV, Beyoncé, MTV VMA Video Vanguard (Medley), Music, More Music Videos