Monday, May 5, 2014

You are NOT a SLUT (Women Empowering Women) Pt. 2


Last time, I shared some of my history with the word slut.  I also had a broad introduction discussing slut-shaming in the news and shared the music video of naked Miley Cyrus on the the wrecking ball.  Be sure to read Part 1 before reading Part 2!

Now I'd like to explore celebrity culture a bit further.  Why are celebrities dressing this way?  Simply because our society not only allows it, but basically insists upon it.  We buy their brands.  We listen to their music.  We watch their television shows.  We financially support this way of thinking and therefore perpetuate it.  But, as a society we are demanding this type of behavior from women and then in the same breath, shaming them for their behavior.

We are teaching our daughters that in order to be attractive, they must be sexy.
There is one celebrity coming to mind right now (though I know there are obviously others) that does not exploit her body yet has immeasurable success.  I'm talking about you, Adele.  But, unfortunately for Adele, she isn't sexy enough despite her incredible talent.  She has been criticized for her appearance by designer Karl Lagerfeld:
"The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat".

and the ever awesome (sarcasm font) Joan Rivers (please tell me she drives you crazy too?):
"She's a chubby lady who's very, very rich, and she should just calm down — or lose weight!" 


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Adele isn't the only celebrity mocked because of her weight, Kim Kardashian and other "sexier" celebrities are scrutinized for their weight as well.  And, this, especially as women, should bother you.  Adele is incredibly talented and beautiful, as our these other women, yet they are constantly objectified.; seen as little more than flesh.

So how can these women reclaim their image/self/flesh?  They have no choice but to take the power away and reclaim it as their own.

What are we teaching out girls that this is what female empowerment looks like?
Yes, I am saying that this over-sexualized female empowerment movement, if you'll allow me to call  it a movement, is a direct result of the belittlement and objectification of women.   We are teaching our girls that their bodies mean nothing.  When a woman cannot walk through a University, regardless if it's in the United States or Egypt, without being treated like less than a person because of her physical appearance, we are creating an environment where the opposite becomes desirable: you do not own my body and I will use it any way that I like. America, in many ways, may be ahead of the game, because it is our pop stars that are continually making headlines for their risky behavior.  But, we have to keep in mind that women were second class citizens less than a hundred years ago.

No self respecting woman should wish or work for the success of a party that ignores her self.
We are living in an age where the direct result of women not being acknowledged because of our genitals has lead women, especially those in the public eye, to use their sex as a tool of power.  This power struggle and "empowerment" is dangerous because it gives men, and unfortunately, women, reason to disrespect one another.  Taking away the power completely, and creating a slut-shaming environment.  And, we are now seeing the results of this hyper-sexed culture and the effects it is having on our girls (and boys.)  Porn is okay.  And normal.  The average age of first time exposure to Internet pornography is 11 years old.  And the largest consumer of Internet pornography are children aged 12-17 years old.

A double-edged sword of the sharpest kind.

So, let's be clear:
Miley Cyrus, you are not your body.
Rhianna, you are not your body.
Katy Perry, you are not your body.
Kim Kardashian, you are not your body.
Adele, you are not your body.
Blond woman in Cairo, you are not your body.
YOU READING THIS, you are not your body.


So, lets get a few things straight here:
1.  We demand our female celebrities to be sexy
2.  We financially support the objectification of women
3.  Our belittlement of women in society has directly resulted in a hyper sexual empowerment movement
4.  Our children are watching pornography and seeing this images as "normal" sexuality

And then when Sally walks through the mall dressed scantily clad, we call her a slut.

Why are we allowing women to receive these mixed messages?  Be sexy, but not too sexy.  Show some skin, but not too much skin.  It's ridiculous.

And, we as women need to stop perpetuating this stuff.  We are just as much a part of the problem as men.  We need to stop allowing our bodies to be what defines us.  And, we need to stop using derogatory terms to insult the women we may not like or get along with.  It is not okay for you to call anyone a slut.  Unless you see someone physically receiving money for a sexual favor, prostitution should not be the first insult that comes to your mind.  We need to change the way our brains are wired in regards to insulting other women.  (Really, we should all try to stop insulting one another in general, because it's not nice... but, I think that's obvious.)

So, besides not using the word SLUT (let's please take away the POWER behind this word!) -- look at what you're supporting and teaching the girls that come behind you.  How are you using your body?  Do you respect it?

Much introspection needs to be practiced in regards to this issue-- because you are NOT a slut and neither is the girl that is wearing a low cut shirt and talking to your boyfriend at the bar. 

My Questions for YOU:
What are your thoughts on our hyper-sexed celebrity culture?
What about the media/society's continual objectification of women by focusing on their bodies?
What would you consider empowering behavior for a women in this modern world?
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This post may seem incomplete, and that's because it is.  This is Part Two in a Three Part Series.  
Part One
Part Two

Next week I'll be bringing everything together from the previous posts and asking you for solutions.

4 comments:

  1. Another great post in this series--thank you! :)

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  2. It's weird: By covering up every inch of our bodies, we basically say "I want to have full control over my body so I am going to wear this even though I may not like it". By wearing the alleged "slutty" clothes, we basically say "I want to have full control over my body but I want to fit in". Somewhere along the way, the line got blurred and women lost a fashion somewhere in between, which disappeared almost all together with all of the stars wearing next to (or actually) nothing on stage.

    In our culture, women are either a prude or a slut. We're all fat until we're hospitalized for starving ourselves and then we're a skinny freak. Simply because somebody was born with a vagina or went to a party (even if they were wearing jeans and only drinking water), they are "asking for it". It's not fair to be treated like this and it's not fair to teach men that its okay to treat women like this.

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    Replies
    1. THIS: It's weird: By covering up every inch of our bodies, we basically say "I want to have full control over my body so I am going to wear this even though I may not like it". By wearing the alleged "slutty" clothes, we basically say "I want to have full control over my body but I want to fit in". YES YES YES. You are right! And, I agree even more so with the following sentiment- that fashion somehow got lost. It's stressful, isn't it?

      You bring up a great observation- prude or slut. I HATE BOTH OF THOSE WORDS SO MUCH. I hate using the word hate, but alas, sometimes strong feelings evoke strong words.

      We can change this. Even if the change begins with ourselves (which is the biggest step!)

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Love to read what you have to say! Keep the comments coming!