IWSG : Quiet Life = Quiet Writing

It's the first Wednesday of the month which means it's time to air my dirty laundry for Alex J Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group! (And, boy is it perfect timing-- I need you guys! Desperately!)

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Let's get started, shall we?

 ---

You hear countless times that in order to WRITE, one must LIVE.  Or, it has also been put that you WRITE what you LIVE.  If that is true, all I have to offer up is a giant sigh and a word the rhymes with duck.

Am I happy?  Oh hell yes!  My husband is not only incredibly intelligent, spiritually aware and a great (probably the number one coolest) father-- he is also really, really good looking.  Then, to top it off, my kids are not only hilarious-- but they have caused me little to no headaches (in regards to being sick, troublesome, etc.)

Do I still struggle with inner demons like no ones business?  Oh heck yes!  But, I'm a far cry from the emo-monster that used to write on azia said what?

Though joy and inner turmoil, while on the cusp of thirty, has it's certain charms -- I'm not really doing much outside of my small town living.  I wake up, play with my children, make and eat a little breakfast, drink a bit of coffee, read the bible, check emails, play with the kids, pick up the house a bit, get dressed, take the kids to (insert: park, library, swimming, for a walk, etc), eat/make lunch, play with the kids, lay Abram down for his nap, try to write or read- usually don't accomplish either, blah blah the rest of the day blah blah-- you get the idea.  Throw in a dinner or lunch here and there with a few of the friends I've made in town, MOPS obligations, and church-- and you basically live my life.

So what is there to write about!?  You see my conundrum.  I can't write these stories with adventurous characters if I'm always sitting on my patootie in my little German town.  I'm kind of, really, a lot, going super cuckoo clocks.

I've just been CRAVING something and I don't know what it is.  I feel like my writing has been so flat because of this!  I don't want to just write about a place on the West Coast, watching YouTube and Vimeo videos to get a feel for the culture-- I want to see it with my own two eyes-- Do I make sense?  Please tell me I make sense.  I'm desperate to make sense.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living through Google and that scares me.

Granted, I'm the happiest I've ever been-- and I do love the quiet that this town has to offer (plus the history around here is so interesting, and the town itself is very quaint with a great library and tons to offer a family in regards to community activities)-- but, what about my writing?

Maybe I just miss my close girlfriends... I've made a few deep connections here, but I have yet to find that camaraderie that I've had with my college girlfriends and my poet friend.  I think it's important to have social interactions that feed not only your soul/spirit -- but your creative endeavors.  My soul and my writing are so deeply connected that it's been difficult finding a balance/someone around here who understands.

Maybe it's all in my head, and my writing isn't as flat as I think it is-- but, boy, this quiet existence has sure made me overwhelming insecure in my writing abilities.