Wednesday, August 7, 2013

IWSG : Quiet Life = Quiet Writing

It's the first Wednesday of the month which means it's time to air my dirty laundry for Alex J Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group! (And, boy is it perfect timing-- I need you guys! Desperately!)

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Let's get started, shall we?
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You hear countless times that in order to WRITE, one must LIVE.  Or, it has also been put that you WRITE what you LIVE.  If that is true, all I have to offer up is a giant sigh and a word the rhymes with duck.

Am I happy?  Oh hell yes!  My husband is not only incredibly intelligent, spiritually aware and a great (probably the number one coolest) father-- he is also really, really good looking.  Then, to top it off, my kids are not only hilarious-- but they have caused me little to no headaches (in regards to being sick, troublesome, etc.)

Do I still struggle with inner demons like no ones business?  Oh heck yes!  But, I'm a far cry from the emo-monster that used to write on azia said what?

Though joy and inner turmoil, while on the cusp of thirty, has it's certain charms -- I'm not really doing much outside of my small town living.  I wake up, play with my children, make and eat a little breakfast, drink a bit of coffee, read the bible, check emails, play with the kids, pick up the house a bit, get dressed, take the kids to (insert: park, library, swimming, for a walk, etc), eat/make lunch, play with the kids, lay Abram down for his nap, try to write or read- usually don't accomplish either, blah blah the rest of the day blah blah-- you get the idea.  Throw in a dinner or lunch here and there with a few of the friends I've made in town, MOPS obligations, and church-- and you basically live my life.

So what is there to write about!?  You see my conundrum.  I can't write these stories with adventurous characters if I'm always sitting on my patootie in my little German town.  I'm kind of, really, a lot, going super cuckoo clocks.

I've just been CRAVING something and I don't know what it is.  I feel like my writing has been so flat because of this!  I don't want to just write about a place on the West Coast, watching YouTube and Vimeo videos to get a feel for the culture-- I want to see it with my own two eyes-- Do I make sense?  Please tell me I make sense.  I'm desperate to make sense.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living through Google and that scares me.

Granted, I'm the happiest I've ever been-- and I do love the quiet that this town has to offer (plus the history around here is so interesting, and the town itself is very quaint with a great library and tons to offer a family in regards to community activities)-- but, what about my writing?

Maybe I just miss my close girlfriends... I've made a few deep connections here, but I have yet to find that camaraderie that I've had with my college girlfriends and my poet friend.  I think it's important to have social interactions that feed not only your soul/spirit -- but your creative endeavors.  My soul and my writing are so deeply connected that it's been difficult finding a balance/someone around here who understands.

Maybe it's all in my head, and my writing isn't as flat as I think it is-- but, boy, this quiet existence has sure made me overwhelming insecure in my writing abilities.

12 comments:

  1. "Sometimes I fell like I'm living through Google and that scares me."
    LOL - sorry. I had to laugh at this. I feel like this, too.

    Motherhood is isolating in so many ways. My friends have moved away, and I'm too busy to make new ones. Having special needs kids doesn't help either. I can't just call the teenager down the street to sit with them.

    I've longed to go to the town my first two WIPs are set in. It's in the same state and it's driving distance from me, so that's one dream I might actually get to experience.

    Great post! :)
    August co-host and IWSG #110

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    1. I'm glad you can relate! And, please visit these towns!

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  2. I read... can't remember which famous writer... said to write our fantasies. We draw from what we know, but we should write what we dream about.

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    1. I'd love to read the quote if you ever find it!

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  3. Hi Azia, I can relate! I live a relatively boring life but the thing that inspires my work is the people I'm around. Try and get out and meet as many as you can or go to events that you would normally not go to (for instance there was once a cat show in San Jose. A cat show! That probably would have given me enough material for a year). Or eavesdrop. Sometimes, I'll hear someone telling a story or hear a snippet of a conversation that I wasn't supposed to and my imagination goes wild. I know it's no substitute for world traveling but, hey. We use what we got, right? And by the way, I see you're a General Hospital fan? I am totally team Young and the Restless so I guess we're going to have to duke it out! And I might take you up on that CP offer one of these days. I'll be happy to return the favor. Best of luck to you:)

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    1. When I was a kid, I lived in Santa Clara! I've been to San Jose (but never to a cat show) quite a few times! I can only imagine the abundance of inspiration you encountered! Definitely keep me in mind :) <3 GH > Y&R any day! YOU GUYS STOLE JASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  4. Sometimes I feel as though I need to force things out. I don't 'feel' like anything is moving me, so I try to move myself. For me, at least, it doesn't work. I get the feeling, though, that all that is needed is to wait and practice, exercise, so to speak. And - maybe - the torrent will come. (Actually, it did for me last week. At a MOST inconvenient time when I'm trying to finish the first draft of a WIP. Argh.)

    Nice to stop by!

    Diana at About Myself By Myself

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    1. I feel ya, when I force things-- it is terrible! thanks for visiting! :)

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  5. For what it's worth, I've been exactly where you are and I can tell you from experience you WILL forge new friendships. If you're like me then you probably don't use that word lightly, friends tend to take on the same relationship as family, sometimes closer. That means you have to devote lots of time to them in order to keep the relationship alive. I'm guessing your children are very young, but as they grow and begin to interact in sports, etc, you will make connections with new people through their activities. When I first moved to Charleston most of my friendships came this way. This Saturday I'm hosting a party for close to forty people, mostly everyone will eat, drink and be merry, but every year the number keeps growing.

    Also, you might consider volunteering in the community. I work the food pantry once a month and it's very rewarding. The interactions I have with the people who come in really enrich my life and have sometimes provided ideas for characters. Guess what I'm trying to say here and not very eloquently is, be patient, the friendships will come. You have to find your balance between writing, family and your social life. Too much of anything no matter how much you love it can be unhealthy. Keep us posted and let us know how things go.

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    1. You are so right-- you have to put yourself out there to get to know people! I've met quite a few people through MOPS (I am the publicity coordinator for our local group) and through our church-- I've gotten close to a couple women and do feel blessed for that!

      Thank you for your words of encouragement! Everything in moderation!

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  6. Heya! *waves like a crazy person* Haven't been around your blogs in a while. :-)

    Well, I get what you're saying about you craving adventure. I also felt like I was stuck in a rut lately. Best solution I know is to learn or experience something new. Go do something you always wanted to do.

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    1. So you're saying it's time to go to Harry Potterland in Florida? ;)

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Love to read what you have to say! Keep the comments coming!